„Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije
„See me, take care of me“: Styles of couple dynamics in the initial phase of couple therapy
Apstrakt
Specifičnost partnerske terapije leži u tome što se fokus sa individualnih pomera na
relacione procese, odnosno na dinamiku partnerskog odnosa. U prvoj etapi, cilj terapije
je osvešćivanje ključnih odlika dinamike para. U ovoj eksplorativnoj studiji (deo je šire
studije o partnerskoj terapiji), usmerile smo se na mapiranje različitih stilova razmene
koji se pojavljuju u početnoj etapi terapije para, pri čemu smo se vodile pitanjem: oko
koje bazične teme se organizuje dinamika partnerske relacije? U studiji je učestvovalo
šest heteroseksualnih parova (29–45 godina, ≥ 2 godine zajedno, 5 parova bez dece).
Podaci su prikupljeni videosnimanjem druge terapijske seanse. Materijal za analizu bila
je kontakt epizoda, definisana kao interakcija partnera o za njih relevantnoj temi, tokom
koje je terapeutkinja zauzela ulogu posmatrača. Svaki par tretiran je kao studija slučaja,
a kao dopunski metod korišćena je tematska analiza. Generisale smo tri teme, koje
odgovaraju stilovima partne...rske dinamike, a identifikovane su i dve varijante svakog
stila. U interpretaciji podataka oslonile smo se na teoriju geštalt psihoterapije. Prvi stil
je: „Vidi me, zbrini me“: poziv partneru da reguliše partnerku u nezavršenom poslu
nailazi na otpor i granice. Dinamika para se organizuje oko partnerkinog nezavršenog
posla, a par pregovara oko pitanja ko je odgovoran za zbrinjavanje partnerke i
regulisanje odnosa. Varijante stila su: Kritikovanje i sučeljavanje suprotstavljenih pozicija
(„Meni treba ovo, ti radiš ono – ne, ti radiš to“) i Zagledanost u sebe spram povlačenja i
pojačavanja diferencijacije („Okupira me prošlost – ne mogu da ti nadoknadim sve“).
Drugi stil je: „Pojavi se u našem odnosu“: Poziv partneru kroz postiđivanje da potvrdi
lojalnost odnosu nailazi na prihvatanje ili otpor. Dinamika para se organizuje oko
partnerkinog doživljaja da partner, zbog lične pozadine, izneverava odnos, a pregovara
se oko toga šta može da ostane lično, a šta mora da postane zajedničko. Varijante su:
Konfrontiranje spram nedorečenosti i odbrambenosti („Bori se za naš odnos! – imam
pravo na privatnost“) i Konfrontiranje i potonje međusobno razumevanje („Ti si ovakav,
brinem za nas – razumem te“). Treći stil je: „Čik probaj da me izazoveš“: zahtev partneru
da više učestvuje, ali isključivo praćenjem partnerke, nailazi na slab otpor ili neupitno
slaganje. Dinamiku odlikuje izražen disbalans moći i organizuje se oko partnerkinog
doživljaja da je partner ne podržava, a partneri pregovaraju oko toga kako odgovoriti na
partnerkine duple poruke. Varijante su: Dominacija i optuživanje spram povlačenja i
slaganja („Promeni se po ovom skriptu! – Da, draga, hoću, draga“) i Dominantnost kroz
snažnu afektivnost spram pokušaja održavanja balansa u komunikaciji („Prestani da me poništavaš – Molim te, umiri se“). U radu će biti diskutovane teorijske i praktične
implikacije nalaza.
The distinct quality of couple therapy is that its focus are not individual, but relational processes, and the aim of the first therapeutic phase is to become aware of the key features of the relationship dynamics. The goal of this exploratory study (as a part of larger research) was to map various styles of couples’ interaction in the initial phase of therapy. To that aim, we asked: Which basic theme organizes the dynamic of couple relation? The participants were 6 heterosexual couples (29–45 years old, ≥2 years together, 5 without children). The data was collected through videotaping the second therapy session. The material for the analysis were contact episodes: couple interaction regarding the self-selected topic, during which the therapist entered the observer role. Couples were analysed as case studies, and thematic analysis was utilized as an auxiliary method. Three themes, i.e. styles of partnership dynamic were generated, and two variants for each of them. In the data interpre...tation we relied on theory of Gestalt therapy. The first style is: „See me, take care of me“: The one’s appeal that the other regulates her needs is met with resistance and boundary setting. The relationship dynamic is organized around one’s unfinished business, and the couple negotiates who is responsible for regulating the needs of the other and the ongoing relationship. Variants were: Critiquing and confrontation of opposing positions („I need this, you are doing that – No, you are doing that“) and Self-absorption vs. Withdrawal and differences accentuation ("I'm occupied by the past – I can't compensate you for everything"). The second style is: "Show up in our relationship": The request to the other expressed through shaming to confirm loyalty to the relationship is met with acceptance or resistance. The couple dynamics is organized around one’s perception that the other, due to his background, is betraying the relationship, and the couple negotiates what can remain personal and what must become shared. Variants were: Confrontation vs. Vagueness and defensiveness ("Fight for our relationship! – I have the right to privacy") and Confrontation and subsequent mutual understanding ("You are like this, I worry about us – I understand you"). The third style is: "Challenge me, I dare you": One’s request that the other participate more, but only by following, is met with weak resistance or unquestioned agreement. The dynamic characterizes a pronounced power imbalance and is organized around one’s perception that the other does not support her. The pair negotiates how to respond to the dominant partner's double messages. Variants were: Dominance and accusation vs. Withdrawal and acquiescence ("Change according to this script! – Yes, dear, I will, dear") and Dominance through strong affectivity vs. Trying to maintain a balance in communication ("Stop invalidating me – Please, calm down"). The paper will discuss the theoretical and practical implications of the findings.
Ključne reči:
couple therapy / partnership dynamics / gestalt therapy / qualitative study / terapija para / dinamika partnerskog odnosa / geštalt terapija / kvalitativno istraživanjeIzvor:
Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar, 2023, 93-95Izdavač:
- Novi Sad: Department of Psychology, Faculty of Philosophy, University of Novi Sad
Finansiranje / projekti:
- Ministarstvo nauke, tehnološkog razvoja i inovacija Republike Srbije, institucionalno finansiranje - 200163 (Univerzitet u Beogradu, Filozofski fakultet) (RS-MESTD-inst-2020-200163)
Institucija/grupa
Psihologija / PsychologyTY - CONF AU - Jovanović, Dušanka AU - Grbić, Sanja PY - 2023 UR - http://reff.f.bg.ac.rs/handle/123456789/5348 AB - Specifičnost partnerske terapije leži u tome što se fokus sa individualnih pomera na relacione procese, odnosno na dinamiku partnerskog odnosa. U prvoj etapi, cilj terapije je osvešćivanje ključnih odlika dinamike para. U ovoj eksplorativnoj studiji (deo je šire studije o partnerskoj terapiji), usmerile smo se na mapiranje različitih stilova razmene koji se pojavljuju u početnoj etapi terapije para, pri čemu smo se vodile pitanjem: oko koje bazične teme se organizuje dinamika partnerske relacije? U studiji je učestvovalo šest heteroseksualnih parova (29–45 godina, ≥ 2 godine zajedno, 5 parova bez dece). Podaci su prikupljeni videosnimanjem druge terapijske seanse. Materijal za analizu bila je kontakt epizoda, definisana kao interakcija partnera o za njih relevantnoj temi, tokom koje je terapeutkinja zauzela ulogu posmatrača. Svaki par tretiran je kao studija slučaja, a kao dopunski metod korišćena je tematska analiza. Generisale smo tri teme, koje odgovaraju stilovima partnerske dinamike, a identifikovane su i dve varijante svakog stila. U interpretaciji podataka oslonile smo se na teoriju geštalt psihoterapije. Prvi stil je: „Vidi me, zbrini me“: poziv partneru da reguliše partnerku u nezavršenom poslu nailazi na otpor i granice. Dinamika para se organizuje oko partnerkinog nezavršenog posla, a par pregovara oko pitanja ko je odgovoran za zbrinjavanje partnerke i regulisanje odnosa. Varijante stila su: Kritikovanje i sučeljavanje suprotstavljenih pozicija („Meni treba ovo, ti radiš ono – ne, ti radiš to“) i Zagledanost u sebe spram povlačenja i pojačavanja diferencijacije („Okupira me prošlost – ne mogu da ti nadoknadim sve“). Drugi stil je: „Pojavi se u našem odnosu“: Poziv partneru kroz postiđivanje da potvrdi lojalnost odnosu nailazi na prihvatanje ili otpor. Dinamika para se organizuje oko partnerkinog doživljaja da partner, zbog lične pozadine, izneverava odnos, a pregovara se oko toga šta može da ostane lično, a šta mora da postane zajedničko. Varijante su: Konfrontiranje spram nedorečenosti i odbrambenosti („Bori se za naš odnos! – imam pravo na privatnost“) i Konfrontiranje i potonje međusobno razumevanje („Ti si ovakav, brinem za nas – razumem te“). Treći stil je: „Čik probaj da me izazoveš“: zahtev partneru da više učestvuje, ali isključivo praćenjem partnerke, nailazi na slab otpor ili neupitno slaganje. Dinamiku odlikuje izražen disbalans moći i organizuje se oko partnerkinog doživljaja da je partner ne podržava, a partneri pregovaraju oko toga kako odgovoriti na partnerkine duple poruke. Varijante su: Dominacija i optuživanje spram povlačenja i slaganja („Promeni se po ovom skriptu! – Da, draga, hoću, draga“) i Dominantnost kroz snažnu afektivnost spram pokušaja održavanja balansa u komunikaciji („Prestani da me poništavaš – Molim te, umiri se“). U radu će biti diskutovane teorijske i praktične implikacije nalaza. AB - The distinct quality of couple therapy is that its focus are not individual, but relational processes, and the aim of the first therapeutic phase is to become aware of the key features of the relationship dynamics. The goal of this exploratory study (as a part of larger research) was to map various styles of couples’ interaction in the initial phase of therapy. To that aim, we asked: Which basic theme organizes the dynamic of couple relation? The participants were 6 heterosexual couples (29–45 years old, ≥2 years together, 5 without children). The data was collected through videotaping the second therapy session. The material for the analysis were contact episodes: couple interaction regarding the self-selected topic, during which the therapist entered the observer role. Couples were analysed as case studies, and thematic analysis was utilized as an auxiliary method. Three themes, i.e. styles of partnership dynamic were generated, and two variants for each of them. In the data interpretation we relied on theory of Gestalt therapy. The first style is: „See me, take care of me“: The one’s appeal that the other regulates her needs is met with resistance and boundary setting. The relationship dynamic is organized around one’s unfinished business, and the couple negotiates who is responsible for regulating the needs of the other and the ongoing relationship. Variants were: Critiquing and confrontation of opposing positions („I need this, you are doing that – No, you are doing that“) and Self-absorption vs. Withdrawal and differences accentuation ("I'm occupied by the past – I can't compensate you for everything"). The second style is: "Show up in our relationship": The request to the other expressed through shaming to confirm loyalty to the relationship is met with acceptance or resistance. The couple dynamics is organized around one’s perception that the other, due to his background, is betraying the relationship, and the couple negotiates what can remain personal and what must become shared. Variants were: Confrontation vs. Vagueness and defensiveness ("Fight for our relationship! – I have the right to privacy") and Confrontation and subsequent mutual understanding ("You are like this, I worry about us – I understand you"). The third style is: "Challenge me, I dare you": One’s request that the other participate more, but only by following, is met with weak resistance or unquestioned agreement. The dynamic characterizes a pronounced power imbalance and is organized around one’s perception that the other does not support her. The pair negotiates how to respond to the dominant partner's double messages. Variants were: Dominance and accusation vs. Withdrawal and acquiescence ("Change according to this script! – Yes, dear, I will, dear") and Dominance through strong affectivity vs. Trying to maintain a balance in communication ("Stop invalidating me – Please, calm down"). The paper will discuss the theoretical and practical implications of the findings. PB - Novi Sad: Department of Psychology, Faculty of Philosophy, University of Novi Sad C3 - Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar T1 - „Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije T1 - „See me, take care of me“: Styles of couple dynamics in the initial phase of couple therapy EP - 95 SP - 93 UR - https://hdl.handle.net/21.15107/rcub_reff_5348 ER -
@conference{ author = "Jovanović, Dušanka and Grbić, Sanja", year = "2023", abstract = "Specifičnost partnerske terapije leži u tome što se fokus sa individualnih pomera na relacione procese, odnosno na dinamiku partnerskog odnosa. U prvoj etapi, cilj terapije je osvešćivanje ključnih odlika dinamike para. U ovoj eksplorativnoj studiji (deo je šire studije o partnerskoj terapiji), usmerile smo se na mapiranje različitih stilova razmene koji se pojavljuju u početnoj etapi terapije para, pri čemu smo se vodile pitanjem: oko koje bazične teme se organizuje dinamika partnerske relacije? U studiji je učestvovalo šest heteroseksualnih parova (29–45 godina, ≥ 2 godine zajedno, 5 parova bez dece). Podaci su prikupljeni videosnimanjem druge terapijske seanse. Materijal za analizu bila je kontakt epizoda, definisana kao interakcija partnera o za njih relevantnoj temi, tokom koje je terapeutkinja zauzela ulogu posmatrača. Svaki par tretiran je kao studija slučaja, a kao dopunski metod korišćena je tematska analiza. Generisale smo tri teme, koje odgovaraju stilovima partnerske dinamike, a identifikovane su i dve varijante svakog stila. U interpretaciji podataka oslonile smo se na teoriju geštalt psihoterapije. Prvi stil je: „Vidi me, zbrini me“: poziv partneru da reguliše partnerku u nezavršenom poslu nailazi na otpor i granice. Dinamika para se organizuje oko partnerkinog nezavršenog posla, a par pregovara oko pitanja ko je odgovoran za zbrinjavanje partnerke i regulisanje odnosa. Varijante stila su: Kritikovanje i sučeljavanje suprotstavljenih pozicija („Meni treba ovo, ti radiš ono – ne, ti radiš to“) i Zagledanost u sebe spram povlačenja i pojačavanja diferencijacije („Okupira me prošlost – ne mogu da ti nadoknadim sve“). Drugi stil je: „Pojavi se u našem odnosu“: Poziv partneru kroz postiđivanje da potvrdi lojalnost odnosu nailazi na prihvatanje ili otpor. Dinamika para se organizuje oko partnerkinog doživljaja da partner, zbog lične pozadine, izneverava odnos, a pregovara se oko toga šta može da ostane lično, a šta mora da postane zajedničko. Varijante su: Konfrontiranje spram nedorečenosti i odbrambenosti („Bori se za naš odnos! – imam pravo na privatnost“) i Konfrontiranje i potonje međusobno razumevanje („Ti si ovakav, brinem za nas – razumem te“). Treći stil je: „Čik probaj da me izazoveš“: zahtev partneru da više učestvuje, ali isključivo praćenjem partnerke, nailazi na slab otpor ili neupitno slaganje. Dinamiku odlikuje izražen disbalans moći i organizuje se oko partnerkinog doživljaja da je partner ne podržava, a partneri pregovaraju oko toga kako odgovoriti na partnerkine duple poruke. Varijante su: Dominacija i optuživanje spram povlačenja i slaganja („Promeni se po ovom skriptu! – Da, draga, hoću, draga“) i Dominantnost kroz snažnu afektivnost spram pokušaja održavanja balansa u komunikaciji („Prestani da me poništavaš – Molim te, umiri se“). U radu će biti diskutovane teorijske i praktične implikacije nalaza., The distinct quality of couple therapy is that its focus are not individual, but relational processes, and the aim of the first therapeutic phase is to become aware of the key features of the relationship dynamics. The goal of this exploratory study (as a part of larger research) was to map various styles of couples’ interaction in the initial phase of therapy. To that aim, we asked: Which basic theme organizes the dynamic of couple relation? The participants were 6 heterosexual couples (29–45 years old, ≥2 years together, 5 without children). The data was collected through videotaping the second therapy session. The material for the analysis were contact episodes: couple interaction regarding the self-selected topic, during which the therapist entered the observer role. Couples were analysed as case studies, and thematic analysis was utilized as an auxiliary method. Three themes, i.e. styles of partnership dynamic were generated, and two variants for each of them. In the data interpretation we relied on theory of Gestalt therapy. The first style is: „See me, take care of me“: The one’s appeal that the other regulates her needs is met with resistance and boundary setting. The relationship dynamic is organized around one’s unfinished business, and the couple negotiates who is responsible for regulating the needs of the other and the ongoing relationship. Variants were: Critiquing and confrontation of opposing positions („I need this, you are doing that – No, you are doing that“) and Self-absorption vs. Withdrawal and differences accentuation ("I'm occupied by the past – I can't compensate you for everything"). The second style is: "Show up in our relationship": The request to the other expressed through shaming to confirm loyalty to the relationship is met with acceptance or resistance. The couple dynamics is organized around one’s perception that the other, due to his background, is betraying the relationship, and the couple negotiates what can remain personal and what must become shared. Variants were: Confrontation vs. Vagueness and defensiveness ("Fight for our relationship! – I have the right to privacy") and Confrontation and subsequent mutual understanding ("You are like this, I worry about us – I understand you"). The third style is: "Challenge me, I dare you": One’s request that the other participate more, but only by following, is met with weak resistance or unquestioned agreement. The dynamic characterizes a pronounced power imbalance and is organized around one’s perception that the other does not support her. The pair negotiates how to respond to the dominant partner's double messages. Variants were: Dominance and accusation vs. Withdrawal and acquiescence ("Change according to this script! – Yes, dear, I will, dear") and Dominance through strong affectivity vs. Trying to maintain a balance in communication ("Stop invalidating me – Please, calm down"). The paper will discuss the theoretical and practical implications of the findings.", publisher = "Novi Sad: Department of Psychology, Faculty of Philosophy, University of Novi Sad", journal = "Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar", title = "„Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije, „See me, take care of me“: Styles of couple dynamics in the initial phase of couple therapy", pages = "95-93", url = "https://hdl.handle.net/21.15107/rcub_reff_5348" }
Jovanović, D.,& Grbić, S.. (2023). „Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije. in Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar Novi Sad: Department of Psychology, Faculty of Philosophy, University of Novi Sad., 93-95. https://hdl.handle.net/21.15107/rcub_reff_5348
Jovanović D, Grbić S. „Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije. in Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar. 2023;:93-95. https://hdl.handle.net/21.15107/rcub_reff_5348 .
Jovanović, Dušanka, Grbić, Sanja, "„Vidi me, zbrini me“: stilovi partnerske dinamike u početnoj etapi partnerske terapije" in Knjiga sažetaka, Savremeni trendovi u psihologiji, Filozofski fakultet Novi sad, 26-28. oktobar (2023):93-95, https://hdl.handle.net/21.15107/rcub_reff_5348 .